25 Jun

Obama’s new 50-state plan

in Funny

Obama-To-R_jpg_600x345_crop-smart_upscale_q85 For all those nay-sayers out there who feel as though Obama should be able to wave a magic wand and stop oil from leaking, reverse a decade of Republican fiscal mismanagement overnight, and defeat the evil Voldemort, finally … FINALLY we have a plan.

ROCKLAND, ME—In an attempt to convince an anxious populace that his legislative agenda is working and that everything is going to be all right, President Barack Obama embarked on a 50-state, 30,000-town tour Monday during which he plans to gaze assuredly into the eyes of each American citizen, one at a time.

"I know a lot of people out there are nervous. They're worried about unemployment, the oil spill in the Gulf, and whether or not I am making the right choices in Washington," Obama said during a rally at Rockland District High School. "To those Americans, I offer you this inspiring, confident gaze."

Obama then stepped down from his podium, walked into the 2,000-person audience, and peered comfortingly into each person's eyes. After taking 45 minutes to methodically work his way from the front row all the way to the balcony, and punctuating each look with a gentle pat on the shoulder, Obama returned to the stage, collected himself, and addressed the silent group before him.

"There," he said. "All better."

Ahh … I hope I get mine this weekend.

24 Jun

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: An atheist’s son comes home to his mom …

in Funny, Religion, Video

Have I seriously not posted this yet? These are dramatic readings taken verbatim from comments posted at fundamentalist forums.  Whatever your faith is, these are fundy.  Er, I mean funny.

28 Apr

Barbershop Quartet singing the Ewok Celebration Song

in Funny, Sci-Fi, Video

If you've been a long-time reader of this blog, you know by now that I am huge sci-fi fan.  What you almost certainly don't know, is that it takes only mere seconds of a barbershop quartet performance to send me into fits - yes, fits - of pure glee.  Never did I imagine that, one day, the modern commnications marvel that is the internet would come along to deliver both in a single, double-shot package of mirth.  Enjoy!

08 Mar

Best Oscars 2010 Quote Evuh!

in Entertainment, Funny

oscarthegrouch From August:

I went to bed early … Did the movie about how good white people are at helping black people win, or did the movie about how good white people are at helping blue people win?

25 Feb

Women, Know Your Limits

in Funny, Gender. Femenism & Patriarchy, Politics, Republicans, Video

Almost missed this piece from the National Journal – a profile of Jan Larimer, the GOP’s kinder, gentler face for recruiting more women to the privileged white male party:

Larimer has spearheaded the party's efforts to recruit and train more women candidates. And based on the GOP's efforts this year, the party needs the help … "We're working with the women in Congress ... to empower the women in their states to get involved and to participate," Larimer told Hotline OnCall in an interview at the party's annual Winter meeting in Honolulu.

"Women sometimes need a little more handholding, or they need their friends to help them make a decision. And by our going in and talking to them and recruiting and educating and training them to either get involved in a campaign or become a candidate, we're giving them the tools so that they can do that on their own," Larimer added.

Lest there be any confusion, this isn;t some low-level PR lackey - this is the RNC co-chair! Off the record, Larimer later noted that the GOP is far more gender-evolved today than ever before.  Women can wear trousers, drive cars, and even decide for themselves when they should have dinner on the table.

22 Feb

John Stewart’s Global Dark-ocalypse and the Tea Party’s Intellectual Divide

in Climate Change, Funny, Republicans, Tea Party, Video

Ali A. Rizvi has an excellent piece up at THP on the anti-intellectual faction that seems to be dominating the Teabaggers.

By painting educated, well-earning, science-embracing, articulate, introspective, intellectual citizens as un-American, the Republican party has built an entire base made up of those who not only don't possess these attributes, but enthusiastically abhor those who do. Not only are these factions now split along lines of educational achievement, socioeconomic status, and cultural and religious values, but most significantly, along an "intellectual divide".

The entire article is worth a read.  This is something that’s been increasingly irking me for the last decade.  I mean, it’s one thing to be ignorant – a state of being with which I am more than a little familiar.  But it’s another thing entirely to wear that ignorance like a badge of honor.  I mean, these are the kids that sat in the back of class throwing spitballs at each other and now they’re on the precipice of public office.

The latest inanity, of course, comes from FOXNews wingnuts gleefully pointing to a snowstorm as somehow debunking mountains of data showing a steady rise in global mean temperatures.  Because, you know … it’s snowing.  And, er , it can’t snow when it’s, ya know, warming out.

On a totally unrelated note, I ate eggs this morning.  That means that I will eat eggs every morning.  And THAT means that EVERYONE will too.  Mu-ha-ahahah!!!

Oh, an for my dear friends outside the United States, check out this link to find out how to view the above clip.

06 Feb

Saudi's Reject Pakistani Diplomat Whose Name Translates to 'Biggest Dick'

in Funny, WTF?!

biggusdiYou just can’t make this stuff up!

A high level Pakistani diplomat has been rejected as Ambassador of Saudi Arabia because his name, Akbar Zib, equates to "Biggest Dick" in Arabic. 


02 Feb

Pears grown in the shape of the Buddha

in Food, Funny, Gardening

I know that desire is the root of all suffering, but next life as a dung beetle be damned - Siddhartha looks tasty!!