28 Apr

Obama’s Magic Paper

in Barack Hussein Obama, Comics, Conspiracy Theories

When I woke this morning to news that Obama's team released another copy of his birth certificate I literally facepalmed.  Whoever handles public relations in that administration should be forced to write 100 times "They will never like us" on their own genitals.  Releasing a document after three years only lends legitimacy to an otherwise silly fringe.  These people neither believe nor care about what papers the guy can or can't produce.  They'd be all too happy to ignore this if it were Schwarzeneggar smoking cigars in the Oval Office.  This is strictly about Obama being black, or more specifically, not white.

I made a little comic to express my frustration (click for larger image):


14 Apr

I’m a Consumer Whore

in Capitalism, Consumerism

It’s true.  I know by normal American standards my quaint European life may not appear so.  I drive a modest car (that I own), I have no television, and wear the same clothes I have worn since 1867 and am damn proud of them.  Besides, these checkered pants are going to be back in fashion any year now and then won’t you all be sorry!

But the truth is that I actually love new toys.  Anything and Everything.  Cartoon Balloon Sticky Notes?  Yeah.  Star Wars bookends?  Gotta have ‘em!  Watch made out of Dinosaur Poop?  WANT!  There are two things and two things alone keeping me from selling my organs, or my pets, or my pets’ organs to get what I want: a laughably low income and the deep shame of spending money on random crap instead of my children. 

Am I wrong?  Do we not all live in conflict between the commodity fetishism of Madison Avenue and our own sense of shame for having money to spend on crap while most of our brother’s and sister’s earn less than $1 per day?

Apparently not.

Young Cosumers of the Year

I shot this yesterday at the mall.  In case you can’t tell from the photo, this was a contest – replete with corporate sponsors and ‘Fair Trade’ promotions – where high school students competed with one another to determine who knew the most about their true and golden role on this planet.  Seriously, when did ‘consumer’ stop being an insult?


13 Apr

Nobody is supposed to touch me where my bathing suit covers

in Law Enforcement, Terrorism, TSA / Homeland Security, WTF?!

Except the TSA?  Enough.  Enough!!!

TSA Frisks 6 Year Old.

You can watch the parents (the ones who posted the video) speak out here along with the token apologist “journalist”.

12 Apr

Your Email Disclaimer Sucks

in Internet, Law Enforcement

Image via Wikipedia

You know the drill.  Some automaton from the corporate matrix decides that all outgoing emails must contain a disclaimer that reading this email is both illegal and immoral, will cause your eyeballs to char and your sperm to mutate and you will go to jail jail jail.  And lest you forget, this is repeated on each and every reply so, after four or five emails, you have enough digital ink to choke a Southern Dwarf Siren who, as everyone knows, have surprisingly small mouths.

Turns out, these are not only annoying, but completely lacking in any legal force.  From the Economist (via Lifehacker):

[Email disclaimers] are assumed to be a wise precaution. But they are mostly, legally speaking, pointless. Lawyers and experts on internet policy say no court case has ever turned on the presence or absence of such an automatic e-mail footer in America, the most litigious of rich countries.

Many disclaimers are, in effect, seeking to impose a contractual obligation unilaterally, and thus are probably unenforceable. This is clear in Europe, where a directive from the European Commission tells the courts to strike out any unreasonable contractual obligation on a consumer if he has not freely negotiated it. And a footer stating that nothing in the e-mail should be used to break the law would be of no protection to a lawyer or financial adviser sending a message that did suggest something illegal.

They go on to explain that these disclaimers are probably so prevalent because companies see other companies using them, and then decide they should too. If you're using these in your business emails, you can probably get rid of them—you'll make all your contacts a whole lot happier, without making yourself any less protected by the law.

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14 Feb

Happy Valentine’s Day from Charles Darwin

On this day, we celebrate the eons of mutation, adaptation and selection that allow us to express our love for one another in grand, time-honored America fashion - by diverting wealth and surplus labor into the hands of chocolate and greeting card producers nationwide.


Thanks to Ironic Sans

18 Jan

The Swiss Army Bathroom

I’ve been living in Europe for just under a decade now and, although I’ve been lucky to be in house-friendly cities, the digs are nevertheless far more cramped cozy than those of my youth.  Along the way, I’ve developed a bit of a fetish for the kind of space-saving innovations one normally associates with Tokyo.  So what could be better than an entire bathroom on a stick?

The veritable Swiss Army bathroom has 7 rotating modules stacked and skewered to shrink bathroom footprints. Here's how it works: Services are fed from the top of the product through a hole in the ceiling, and waste pipes can be directed through a hole in the floor, or through the wall. It can be installed in a corner (with 100 degree rotation) or you can opt for Centre installation (with continuous rotation for most modules, and 200 degrees for others). Hidden TP and toilet brush storage are built in. Each unit is constructed of 3mm aluminum with 175 color choices in either a matte or gloss finish.


(click for larger images) via geekologie.

11 Jan

Your weapon of choice in the upcoming zombie apocalypse

in Funny


Er … how exactly can or would I use my sleeping 3 year old daughter to stop the reanimated minions?  Damnit!  Why couldn’t I be snuggled up against Simon Pegg right now??

What’s your weapon of choice?

via geekology

05 Jan

SCOTUS: Government goons entitled to warrantless cellphone searches after arrest

Personal Handy-phone System mobiles and modems...

Image via Wikipedia

Via BoingBoing:

In a 5-2 ruling Monday, the California Supreme Court allowed police to search the cell phones of people who are arrested even without possessing a warrant, saying defendants lose their privacy rights for any items they're carrying when taken into custody. So, if you're arrested unfairly for some reason, cops can still search your smartphone and presumably copy, say, all your contacts or emails or phone or text records, all without a warrant. No possible abuse scenarios there, right?

Yet another reason to always password protect your devices and use encryption wherever and whenever possible.  I wonder how this is going to jive with the recent decision from the sixth circuit court of appeals to extend fourth amendment protections to email?

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05 Jan

us immigration policy undone by teenage girls

in Immigration, TSA / Homeland Security

At $4 million per mile, who could ever imagine that the technological marvel that is a mid-sized fence could be so easily overcome?  Those brown folks must be breeding some super-cyborg schoolgirls to steal our jobs!

2 girls undermine entire US border strategy in under 18 seconds