Rendering satire obsolete.  But seriously, how'd you like to be a cop on THAT force? 

On the other hand, their IQ is obviously low enough that they may not even know to be insulted.

I seem to have missed this one from a couple years back, but it's worth sharing:

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!

... We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: "Sincerity is not enough." We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn't mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.

Brother Gatling Gun of Patience notes that he's pretty sure the world is out to get him because everyone laughs when he says he is a Unitarian.

... People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.

Full version here.

I've been using computers as my video delivery system for so long that I've completely forgotten how obnoxious it is to use a dedicated DVD player.  But reality gave me a swift kick in the eyeballs during a recent hotel stay where I tried to play a DVD in their complimentary player only to realize that I am forced - yes, forced - to watch each and every precious moment of those fun-filled anti-piracy videos, followed by the interminable (literally 'without termination') FBI warning. 

To make matters worse, being a new dad I am wholly incapable of sustained viewing pleasure and frequently had to pause the video, only to engage the system's sleep program.  After which I was forced, once again, to watch the stupid warning.  Time. after. fricken'. time.

Anyway, positive spin is that it reminded me of this little gem from The IT Crowd:

This is, quite frankly, exactly what the Internet tubes were invented for.  No more listening carefully since menus have changed, just consult this database to find out exactly how to get an actual carbon-based life form on the phone. 

Via BoingBoing:

Via AmericaBlog, Chuck Todd calls this ad shameless.  As a new poppa myself, I think it is spot on and Mr. McGoo McSame McCain is the one who should be ashamed.

on a side note, C&L has the skinny on Grumpy-Puss's new record - 10 flip-flops in 2 weeks! Who says the elderly can't still show us a thing or two!

From the man who rendered satire obsolete:

President Bush has admitted to The Times that his gun-slinging rhetoric made the world believe that he was a “guy really anxious for war” in Iraq. He said that his aim now was to leave his successor a legacy of international diplomacy for tackling Iran.

In an exclusive interview, he expressed regret at the bitter divisions over the war and said that he was troubled about how his country had been misunderstood. “I think that in retrospect I could have used a different tone, a different rhetoric.”

Phrases such as “bring them on” or “dead or alive”, he said, “indicated to people that I was, you know, not a man of peace”. He said that he found it very painful “to put youngsters in harm’s way”. He added: “I try to meet with as many of the families as I can. And I have an obligation to comfort and console as best as I possibly can. I also have an obligation to make sure that those lives were not lost in vain.”

Er, did he really call himself a man of peace??  Poor misunderstood Georgie.  It seems like only yesterday he was so happy to be a "war president". 

Has the thrill worn off already?  Well, if you're good all year, maybe Unca Cheney will by you a nice iPhone-e-wonie for Christmas.

Thank you 80's-sitcom-star-turned-lobotomized-nutjob Kirk Cameron!  Who knew the simple banana was proof of the almighty's ultimate plan for humanity!

Honestly, I think anyone who doesn't believe in the evolutionary process is in some serious self-denial.  However, abiogenesis is another story entirely and there is PLENTY of room for a healthy debate over whether a sentient, interventionist creator put the machine in motion.  But committing your freak flag to video like this doesn't do the religious movement any favors - unless the mere existence of someone with such severe mental deficiencies is itself proof against survival of the fittest.

Kinda reminds me of the peanut butter man I posted a while back:

Via BoingBoing:

Ever since TSA's creation after 9/11, passengers willing to undergo a pat-down and hand-search have been able to fly without ID. This rarely discussed, and little used right was documented by the courts in Gilmore v. Gonzales. While mostly just a way to assert your rights, the technique often had the added benefit of allowing the traveler to skip to the front of the security line.

With little warning, on Thursday, TSA announced a new change in policy. Passengers who refuse to show ID, citing the rights, will be refused entry to the boarding area. Passengers who claim to have lost or forgotten their ID will still be allowed to fly.

This new rule seems to only apply to terrorists that are unable to lie, while at the same time, massively cutting into the rights of passengers.

Your TSA - Working to catch terrorists who are too stupid to hide explosives anywhere but their shoes.