Contrary to popular belief, I am neither deceased nor have I been abducted by shifty government spooks and taken to gitmo for all the subversive crap I put on this ol’ website. The truth is that I am being held hostage by four energetic children, an incapacitated partner, and three new foster kittens, each of which require about three and a half hands and 28 hours of awake-time per day. So I barely have enough time to breathe much less blog.

I have, however, been meaning to produce pithy comments on the following:

Clinton’s fabby smack-down of Chris Wallace, Fox News, and the rest of moronic America who have been trying to rewrite history. This is a model of how modern Democrats need to use little things called “facts” to combat the revisionist hacks who have been telling lies for so long they have already begun to believe their own filth.

The Prince of Darkness’s promised October Surprise (hey, surprise! You lose!)

The latest farce of bin Laden death rumors. How truly beautiful it would be if this supposedly larger-than-life scumbag were to die in bed rather than some tragic suicide run where others had to suffer. Likewise, I would love to see a completely impotent Cowboy Bush fall flat on his promise to get ‘im and instead half-ass chase the guy around the desert until he finally dies of natural causes.

Brilliant suggestion on how to keep the increasingly inept TSA/Airline handlers from misplacing your luggage.

Fun little doo-dads of presidential doodles.

Terrorist bloopers.

And the really obvious truth that BushCo have single-handedly increased terrorism and terrorists around the world. Way to go!

Oh, and bonus - pabre, triste Katherine, who gosh-darnit really, really believed that helping the GOP steal an election would actually qualify her for a reach-around. Sorry!

So … since I don’t have time to elucidate my opinion on the latest nail-biters on season 5 of my favorite reality TV show, The White House, I invite you to read these links yourself and just simply try to imagine what brilliant commentary I could have written.