We join our heroin in a parallel universe on a small planet known as Earth in an outer spiral arm of the Milky Way Galaxy. This is the story of an intrepid author of children's books who is despondent over the barrage of liberals attempting to thrust their crazy Judeo-Christian values upon the unsuspecting youth. Determined to counter their evil influence, our heroin takes it upon herself to publish a series of counter-indoctrination manuals designed to help the innocent children learn the benefits of corruption, greed, and malice. Her debut titles include:

By the way, in case you missed it, this is not satire. The publishing company is World Ahead Publishing, a publisher of conservative books which just recently launched a children's division known as Kids Ahead.

So let's help them out in any way we can. Take a moment and vote in the newest poll for our heroine's next title. And feel free to leave comments to suggest any future titles which I'll be sure to pass along to the publisher.

UPDATE: Kevin Drum's readers beat me to the punch with these little gems:

Help! Mom! There's a Homosexual in My Closet!(...hmmm, not quite right. Too many hidden meanings.)

Help! Mom! There's a Catholic Priest in the Rectory!(...again, no. People could read something into that.)

Help Mom! There are DEA Agents in my Viagra stash!

Help! Mom! A village in Texas lost its idiot!

Help! Mom! There's a Doughnut Hole in Grandpa's Prescription Drug Coverage!

Help Mom! I can't remember the Ten Commandments!

Help! Mom! The Religious Right Won't Stop Sniffing My Panties!

Help! Mom! I've got two moms!