Dear readers, your moderator has returned, several shades darker and infinitely lazier, but fully committed to the permanent affixation of the Jay derriere (or ‘Jerriere’) to my aging office chair and surrendering to my dissertational home stretch.

A usual, my hiatus in the USA was no less profound than a first-class ticket through the state of irony. Roman orgy buffets, endless highways, and 24-hour shopping are things for which we can all be grateful. Yet while there were noticeably fewer Bush-heads in the mix (good morning America, and welcome back), if we are to believe the vacuous media outlets, very little of this has translated into action. Gonzales has survived, immigration reform is a disaster, and environmental protection still dons the tattered cloak of empty rhetoric. But on the bright side, everyone seems well informed when it comes to the incarceration of our favorite ditzy heiress.

Bottom line is that traveling inevitably thickens the walls of my blissfully ignorant protective barrier against current events, and when the occasional promenade down News Avenue comes from the MSM, it will take some time to sift through the disinformation and self-interest before I can reclaim my grasp of Reality. Thus, in true THF tradition, I will beg your continued forgiveness if posting is somewhat light at first. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with what is sure to be the most important story of the month - Britney Spears courageously, and without regard for her own personal safety, has saved an elderly couple from certain death by jellyfish.