CNN gets this week’s award for Most Surreal Headline: Three prisoners at the detention facility in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, have hanged themselves in what the U.S. military is calling an act of "asymmetric warfare."

He described the men, whose names were not released, as committed jihadists captured on the battlefield. "I believe this was not an act of desperation, rather an act of asymmetric warfare waged against us," Harris said.

"Asymmetrical warfare" is defined as "a conflict in which a much weaker opponent uses unorthodox or surprise tactics to attack the weak points of the much stronger opponent."

Harris added that there is a "mythical belief" that the Guantanamo detention center would be shut down if three detainees die.

So yes. We put these people in prison for half a decade. We cut them off from any hope of due process, a trial, or even access to an attorney. We subjected them to a range of gratuitous physical, emotion, and sexual tortures. And we made it clear that we had no intention of ever letting them go. When some finally decided their only escape was through death, then we jump out from behind the shadows and exclaim, “Ha! See? They were terrorists committing an act of aggression against us by, uh ... committing an act of aggression against themselves.”

Honestly, I'd be surprised if the thought of associating yet another piece of bad press with Gitmo was any more than a small comfort at the end; a suicidal booby-prize that their ultimate act would mean something if it helped ease the travails of their compatriots.

I have a friend who did her Master’s on self-immolation as a form of nonviolent protest. Pretty powerful stuff. But I hardly think this qualifies; that they were hoping to make their deaths visible to achieve a clear demand. These people are already locked away in the dark and would likely have held little hope of the U.S. even publicizing the circumstances surrounding their suicide. Guilty or not, I’m pretty sure they were just living in misery and decided that the sweet release of death was finally a preferable option.

But not to worry because Bush said he was "seriously concerned" and wanted the incident handled humanely. So thereing lies the American message to all prisoners of Gitmo -- the way to be treated humanely is to just die already.