Little Ricky is clinging to his story, despite it being complete bollocks. But who needs the truth when you have FOX News who claim that the story is true, but was suppressed at of pure altruism in order to protect their good buddies, the French. Meanwhile, Santorum’s constituency thinks Ricky has some splainin’ to do.

John Edwards continues his campaign to combat the Conservative Nanny State and eradicate poverty. Please, please let this guy run the country for a while.

Speaking of poverty, good thing we have an intrepid leader who believes in No Child Left Behind. Except of course, the ones who are.

Religious fanatics the world over are doing their best to hasten Armageddon by combining technology with religious texts, as well as a healthy dose of the Red Heiffer. That’s right, I said Red Heiffer. Anybody else tired of wackjobs with a death fixation trying to ruin the world?

Note the quivering lips, the stuttering, stammering fool, the squeaky voice, the beads of sweat. Gitmo torture room or reporter calling Bartlett out on his utter B.S.

Our neighbors to the North note how Americans are shocked, outraged even at the clamping down on civil liberties. Nah, just kidding. We’re actually just learning to live without freedom.

This is your terrorist. This is your terrorist with a pack of high-yield plastic explosives strapped to his chest. Any questions?

First Lieutenant Ehren Watda became the first commissioned officer to publicly refuse deployment to Iraq. “I am opposed to this war and the misconduct within this administration. I am willing to sacrifice my freedom and my good name to end this war and save lives: both Iraqi and American.” So why exactly don’t the Republicans want the war to ever end??

GM prompts the largest employee buyout in American history offering workers a choice between the sudden loss of security in a lifelong career, or to “take the cash and walk away.” PBS offering follow-up coverage.

A fleet of unmanned spy drones flying over Los Angeles?

Ann Coulter has finally completely lost control of her verbal bowels. Check out this radio broadcast and explain to me what drugs she is on and where I can get them. In other news, Coulter has endorsed Joe Lieberman. Yes, the Coulter endorsement is every Democrats dream come true. Oh, wait. Kissy-Joe’s not actually a Democrat.

Washington ‘inadvertently’ hands Somalia to radical anti-American militants.

No, no. The timing isn’t suspicious at all. Why would you even insinuate something so cynical? It happened in Florida, you say? Well so what you crazy, liberal, pinko, commie, America hater! Jerk.

And in lighter news, this is what happens when Disney kids grow up.