Poor Georgie, will nobody come out and play?

The White House wants to appoint a high-powered czar to oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with authority to issue directions to the Pentagon, the State Department and other agencies, but it has had trouble finding anyone able and willing to take the job, according to people close to the situation.

At least three retired four-star generals approached by the White House in recent weeks have declined to be considered for the position, the sources said, underscoring the administration's difficulty in enlisting its top recruits to join the team after five years of warfare that have taxed the United States and its military.

"The very fundamental issue is, they don't know where the hell they're going," said retired Marine Gen. John J. "Jack" Sheehan, a former top NATO commander who was among those rejecting the job. Sheehan said he believes that Vice President Cheney and his hawkish allies remain more powerful within the administration than pragmatists looking for a way out of Iraq. "So rather than go over there, develop an ulcer and eventually leave, I said, 'No, thanks,' " he said.

The story has made big headlines and even inspired a Broadway musical due for release in 2008. Here is an excerpt:

Lil’ orphan GW: Daddy WarbCzar, Daddy WarCzar! Guess what!

Daddy WarCzar: <sigh> What is it, Junior?

Lil’ orphan GW: I just set fire to the basement.

Daddy WarCzar: What, again?!

Lil’ orphan GW: Oh Daddy <giggles>. Don’t worry about it, I put it out myself! Only…

Daddy WarCzar: <crosses arms and stomps his foot> Only what George?

Lil’ orphan GW: Well…only…er, I know water puts out fires, right? So I broke open that big metal pipe. And guess what? It worked! Except…

Daddy WarCzar: George-eeee!

Lil ‘orphan GW: Yeah, well now the basement is full of water.

Daddy WarCzar: Well, I guess I’ll get Punjab to mop it up. PU N-JAB!

Lil ‘orphan GW: <starts to cry> err, I already sent Punjab down there, but there was a lot of water. So I told him to get the Butler, the gardener, the maids, and the kitchen staff to help. Oh, and I also sent Tony Blair from next door. B-but…

Daddy WarCzar: But what George? But what?!

Lil’ orphan GW: Well, by the time they all got down there the water was getting really high, so I locked the door to keep it from getting into the house. I was going to let them out, but I was playing with my tinker toys and forgot. By the time I went back to check on them they weren’t moving. I guess I forgot to give them the equipment they needed.

Daddy WarCzar: George, you’ve gone and done it this time!

Lil’ orphan GW: Hey, I have a great idea! YOU should take over! I’d bet you’d do a heckuva job Daddy!