THF Farmers Almanac

Grab your slickers cuz' God says it's gonna rain:

The Rev. Pat Robertson says God has told him that storms and possibly a tsunami will hit America's coastline this year.

The founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network has told viewers of "The 700 Club" that the revelations came to him during his annual personal prayer retreat in January."If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8.

Let’s all give many thanks to the sainted Reverend Obvious for the weather report [1] . Here is a few of my own for this coming year:

Canadians can expect snow.

Californians will experience an earthquake within the next 6 months.

Autumn will arrive sometime around September.

George Bush will wonder if rain really is baby jesus' tears.